Wanna know what I think? Just check my bumper…

I have a fairly long commute, which gives me time to look at how people present themselves via their cars.  While I won’t pretend my observations are remotely scientific, one thing definitely stands out:  Liberals tend to be much more “vocal” by way of automobile adornments than (apparently) Conservatives.

Now, it’s clear that the lack of observable vehicular text doesn’t automatically suggest that those folks are of the Conservative, Communist, Socialist or any other persuasion.  Still, the prevalence of Liberal-minded bumper stickers does suggest that people of that mind tend to be more likely to post their beliefs on their commuter-carriages.

My wife and I were driving  home last weekend when we stopped behind a vehicle that was totally littered with Liberal stickers, trashing virtually anything that could be considered “traditional”, including religion, conservatism, etc.  What really caught my attention were two in particular.

The first said “I think, therefore I’m Liberal“.  The second one read “If you can’t trust a woman with a choice, how can you trust them with a baby?“.
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I’m still trying to find the logic in the second one.  It doesn’t make any sense, particularly in context of the point they were supposedly making.  What made this more amusing to me was the first in conjunction with the second.  This individual was making the case that they’re intelligent, simply because they’re Liberal yet the following bumper sticker made no real sense at all.

All those other stickers just enhanced my impression that this person was in fact, not remotely intelligent.  I often find that those who make the loudest noise about something are the ones least to be trusted about that subject.  Loudly proclaiming their intelligence just served to call it into question.

What a great impression that one made.  If I were a “thinking” liberal, that’s not the kind of advertisement I’d want.

I think that I could of sworn, none of these suggestions are effecting my, writing…

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If only I could find that stupid Thesaurus…

The price of customer service.

I was a paper boy from the time I was 11 until the ripe old age of 15.  My route started about a mile from where we lived and given my age, I had to pedal it on my trusty Gitane 10-speed.  In the older section of my home town where all my customers lived, virtually every house had a front porch so passing papers consisted of zig-zagging across the streets tossing the paper just so.  It was a goal of mine to land each and every paper directly in front of the door, making it easy to retrieve.  I got really good at placing my shots right where I wanted…most of the time.

One evening I had finished my route after dark and had just arrived home, when my Dad delivered a bit of news.  It seems one of my customers had called and described how he was more than a little impressed with my passion for service, prompt delivery, friendly demeanor, etc.  Somewhere in there he also mentioned being a bit distressed by it too.  As he described the scene to my Dad, the poor fellow was sitting in his living room with the front door open, watching the evening news when his paper arrived…directly at his feet.

You see, I occasionally got in a bit of a hurry to finish my route.  Hard to imagine a youth of my age and maturity being in a rush, eh?  Still, there it was:  In my haste, I had whipped the paper with great precision…right through this poor fella’s screen door where there was glass in the bottom pane and a screen in the upper one.  Of course I didn’t hit the screened part.  That would have been way off the mark (remember my pride at my targeting ability?).  No, no.  Instead, I hit the lower section at an angle just right for personal delivery.  I swear that I had no idea what had happened.  Anyhow my customer, while appreciating the personal service, was a little put off by my methods. He was good-natured about it all, but nevertheless insisted I pay for the broken pane.  I suppose it was a reasonable demand, given the glass all over his living room…
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There were certainly other events in my paper-boy career that counted as being related to my sometimes less-than-accurate delivery, but none quite as amusing.  I had a lot of fun times doing that route.  Sometimes I hated it too.  In the end, I managed to learn a bit about responsibility, hard work, customer relations, money management, not freezing to death, etc.  As a kid, I know that I failed in many respects doing that job, but one thing I did learn well: How to laugh at myself.

Next time I’m tempted to take myself too seriously, I need to remember that little delivery incident.